Drains and Radiators

I can’t emphasise enough the importance of self-care and taking some time out!  We often leave it until we feel we reallllllly need it or deserve it. In actual fact, we deserve it all the time. We all do.  And the best thing we can do for ourselves, and those around us, is to take care of ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves more often.

BUT, we can reduce them where we can. This is how we lead our life, how we work with our own internal struggles and how we make the choices that are right for us.  It’s just a little bit of tweaking here and there, with the occasional bigger choice.  Most importantly – no matter what storm you are going through, to survive it, you need ‘down’ time.

So, here’s a tool that helps with self-awareness and authenticity of what truly helps you feel better, versus what you think ‘should’ help you but can often take your energy.  It’s simple and often requires one main sit down to do it. Then it becomes acknowledged in the mind and just gets added to your mental list.

You can approach it generically, or look at it from the point of view of a specific day or week.  For example, look back to the working week, what things lifted you, and what brought you down? Sometimes we can feel guilty about things we feel ‘should’ uplift us, but yet we are drained.  It’s important here to differentiate if it’s a person, situation or event that is causing this drop, or that we are simply fatigued or drained mentally or physically and if we were to add some ‘me’ time in between.  If we were less busy, would things be different?  

We always have choice and need to be reminded of our empowerment to be assertive in claiming our space, especially when we put it into the perspective of ‘the greatest and highest good of all’

When I had severe adreanal fatigue, I looked more into saying no or yes, and how I approached my to-do list.  Sometimes lists are unknowingly draining and this is the danger. I’ve managed to look at my calendar and lists and make choices that my mind doesn’t want to make, but my higher self knows is right, and over time, have come to trust. 

So drains and radiators are a mix of 3 things; a) being true and authentic with yourself, b) padding the draining or challenging tasks around a buffer of silence, or ‘me’ time and c) knowing when to step I and be your own mentor/ your own guru, and saying yes/no.

Examples can be the following:

Note that for someone else, the opposites can apply e.g. when Sarah phones on an evening and wants to talk for an hour it can drain one person, for someone else it energises them.  Try not to judge your own truth.

You can then eventually look at how to shift the drains

E.g. if cloudy days get your down, prepare for winter with getting into a regime, getting out through the day, always when it’s sunny, have some exciting indoor activities that uplift you, book a break in the sun over winter

It’s just about becoming aware of the drains (your flags and triggers),  even the subtle ones, so you know where you are, what to mitigate and what to avoid, or what to sandwich between rest and ‘me’ time.

Other examples:

If you look back over your month what do you do for YOU, what do you do that you know brings you joy, energy, a recharge?  Sometimes it’s daily things, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly like our mini retreat/spa days, or an annual getaway.


Every now and then we need to step back and look at how we are living our life, and what small tweaks, or big changes we can make.

One thing I have come to know is that no one will do this for us.  Our mental health, relaxation, ‘me’ time is down to us, to carve that time out, to assert yourself for it, and protect it.

So whether this day is your life at the moment, and you’re doing the best you can to take some time out, or whether you are already doing great at maintaining your wellness, know this is a great step, sometimes a big step, but nevertheless, an essential one in your empowerment.

Or you cut to the core and decide what needs changing at work, and as Eckhart Tolle says; 

‘Influence change, accept it, or leave.  All else is madness’. 

I always like to point out at this stage that acceptance is different from suppression. If you choose this route, be sure to fully accept with peace and happiness in your choice, not pushing the issue beneath the surface.

Why not make some choices today and decide where you might need a bigger break, and how to add some smaller pauses into your daily life.  How about decide what needs to be dropped!?

See you next time.

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