It was Buddha who said the root of all suffering lies in attachment. Attachment to people, things, experiences or outcomes. It can even be to our identity, our thought patterns and so on. The opposite of this is detachment. Often it can be a very empowering choice, especially when there is a negative energy attached to it. However it can still imply that there is some underlying issue within you that you are unwilling to let go of if you find yourself going to extremes of being detached from people, places or emotions whenever you feel the need. Buddha says the best way to find balance and a peace within all these things is to find an element of non-attachment. This means not having a strong pull either way, on any particular outcome. With no strong feelings but at the same time not denying or suppressing emotions.
However it is true that sometimes we need to cut off completely from a person or behaviour but with compassion and learning and not through anger, only you know if this is required ethereally and physcially. In some cases, it’s just about setting a new cord connection with a person but refreshing and cleansing and old one first. If you often find yourself feeling drained or lacking in energy when you are around them, or thinking about them or sometimes for seemingly no reason. Or if there is someone that you just can’t seem to get over or stop thinking about no matter how much you try to let them go, or certain people tend to drain the life out of you, then it could be an energetic cord pulling you to them and them to you.
There are invisible cords of energy going from you to other people and from them to you. How many times have you thought about someone and the phone goes? Unless you sever the ties that are draining you, you will have energy cords attached to you that you do not need. You cannot get rid of something if you are not even aware that it exists. Initially as you read this you may feel as though you must have billions. However you might see that there are maybe a one or a few strong ones; ones you are aware of and ones you are not.
The cords can be from a number of different sources – from all kinds of past relationships; family, lovers, friends, co-workers. Often these cords keep us ‘attached’ to unhealthy emotions and energy from our past, to people we thought we had let go, or they follow us home from the daily grind. Until we consciously let them go, we are unable to free ourselves and move forward to our full potential.
If you would like to release these energy cords, then practicing the meditation linked to this blog will help you. Like the four seasons, there comes a time to let go and each person, experience or situation will also move through the seasons. Like mini births and deaths. This includes old relationships, old ways of acting, reacting, and interacting. What if we had some way of releasing the energy that we are still putting to that which is outdated? Actually there are many ways, one of them is “cord cutting”. It’s not an aggressive cutting; it’s with love and compassion for both you and the person, situation or belief. Cord cutting is not just for other people but for old patterns and beliefs as our consciousness evolves. However, it must be noted that cord cutting can not be done with the mother, whom has passed over into the next chapter or still present in our lives. There are other ways and techniques to build a stronger, more loving connection where one needs to be established. Certainly working on the current cord is one way of doing it.
When we enter contracts of all sorts, an ethereal thread or cord is activated, and this ‘bond’ becomes stronger as time goes on. As we move through life, often these relationships can turn into something that we no longer need or want them to be. “Cord Cutting” allows for the energetic thread that has been running to be cut. Relationships don’t have to end, but this allows for new beginnings instead of being trapped in the past. Sometimes, we want relationships to end, such as when you are no longer in a relationship with a partner. Every time you enter into such a relationship, particularly one that leads to sexual involvement, an energetic thread is started. If the relationship continues, the thread gets stronger. Often, people can feel this, or have an intuitive sense of what is going on with their partner. This is due to the energetic connection. Even relationships that have ended, years later either yourself or the other person can ‘tap’ into the line.
Also as children of our parents, as we grow we wish to have more adult relationships with our parents, re establishing new connections can help to break that old way of interacting with each other, of being seen as the child, and parent and allow the relationship to evolve. We need to have different relationships to children when they become adults; with their own responsibilities and choices. Likewise, business partnerships that are no longer valid, also have energetic streams connected with them, that need to be broken.
As you can see all these relationships carry an attachment, a stream of energy, and unfortunately it is often a stream that holds us down and saps our energy. From time to time, we all have experienced the various “energy vampires” and these definitely need to be broken, or at the very least our boundaries need to be established. Most likely if it’s not a complete cut and new boundaries are set, if the person is not able to feed from you, then it may naturally dissolve. If you would like some more advice on this saying ‘no’ and boundaries email me on firstname.lastname@example.org for my 1 hour video.
Also the times, when in order to help a friend through a trying situation, we mY become caregivers. As that person moves through their situation we need to cut the cord, and allow for the growth of the relationship to enter into a new phase of that friendship and vice versa.
Even in happy marriages/long term partnerships, from time to time we need to do this. Generally speaking, as we grow older and mature, we become more mentally healthy, as we give up old ideas, and expectations, and come into our own definitions of who we are. This is true in partnerships as well. The needs and expectations differ, as we come to redefine our idea of partnership, and therefore, cutting cords, can allow for this growth and maturity. It is very important when relationships are ended that we cut the cord. This can even help us with the grieving process of letting go of someone, whether through death, or the ending of the relationship. With relationships that are ongoing, it creates the space for new levels of connection, and can add freshness to the relationship. Where there is discord, it can cut that discord, and allow for new perspectives. It can be particularly useful with co-workers who we have had problems with, and those who tend to “get under our skin” or push our buttons, and grate on our nerves. It can provide the space for us to detach and perhaps see what is really going on.
Cord cutting requires a certain amount of energy and is not passive, therefore, it is best done when you are well rested, and relaxed. it is also quite intentional, so being firm in your intent to let go is important. You don’t have to enjoy letting go, you just have to be intent on letting go, knowing that this needs to happen for the good of all. Sometimes it is not easy letting go, and we want to hold on, but as Sting says in one of his songs, “If you Love someone set them free”. Not just them, but YOU.
The energetic streams by which we are attached to others can run throughout all of our energetic body. Your energetic body surrounds you and even goes into the earth as well as above your head. Cutting cords is a little like pulling weeds. Just as in pulling weeds, you have to get all the root out, this is true also with cutting cords. Another strong aspect of cutting cords is visualisation, and also breathing, taking long full breaths, and strong exhalations, releasing as you exhale.
It is not uncommon to feel all sorts of emotions while doing this. It is important to not hold back on the emotions, as emotions hold and carry energy and allowing the emotions out is part of the process. E-motion means to move out, so let’s do that.
Remember this can also be done with belief systems and cutting your cord with them; how you feel about life, yourself, or people in general. About your fears and limiting beliefs of things you thought you could never do. Sometimes allowing yourself to visualise how your life can be can break that limitation. Try it for yourself as you go to bed one night, show yourself another possibility.